If you listen to René Gely’s dense, intricate arrangement, and the brass contributions of the symphony orchestra players recruited for the recording session and ask yourself “Why would anyone go to such trouble and expense to put such grandiose music onto such banal, pedestrian and downright wimpy lyrics?”… Congratulations! You “get” the song!

Bass virtuoso John Geggie plays a bowed upright, as well as an electric bass on this number.

John Geggie : Bowed upright bass, Electric bass
René Gely : Guitars; Piano; Synths; etc.
Peter Crouch : Trumpet
Paul Adjeleian Trombone
DNO : Vocals

Lyrics

Verse 1
If I were a football hero
With muscles across my back
All the beautiful girls, all the lovely young ladies
Would be panting on my track
If I could walk into class
Still with mud on my ass
After winning another game
I could walk down the hall with my head up high
And Mary Would Know My Name

Verse 2
If I were a rock guitarist
With a heavy electric beat
All the beautiful girls, all the lovely young ladies
Would be dancing at my feat
Well if I were the rage
Wailing up on the stage
When the time for the concert cameç
I could walk down the street with my guitar in my hand
And Mary would know my name

Refrain
But Mary doesn't even know who I am
Mary doesn't even seem to give a damn

Verse 3
If I were a famous actor
Racing motorcycles on the side
All the beautiful girls, all the lovely young ladies
Would want to come take a ride
If I drove a hot car, or if I had a starDown at Hollywood and Vine
I’d just walk up and say
“Listen Mary, hey, tonight I’m gonna’ make you mine”
I’d get her a mink coat and a motorboat
Together we’d make the scene
And then no other guy
Would try to give her the eye
In case I was feeling mean

Refrain
But Mary doesn’t even know who I am
Mary doesn’t even seem to give a damn

©2021 David Nelson Ostrosser